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The Love Of Gravity

At the speed we are currently going we are already halfway between My Trash Planet and the Moon, Jeanette's home where in twenty-three minutes and thirty-six seconds we will land prisoners of its gentle gravity. We will continue to drink the best wine in the galaxy and race through its vineyards.

The ship smells musty.


The stars here are cold, icy, of a hardness I had forgotten. Faced with the vast open space and emptiness, they lose the magic they have when walking barefoot on a beach or lying on the grass on a summer night. They seem to judge you, not understanding you as a free object that swarms without gravitational ties. The universe does not judge, but the stars sometimes do...

Don't listen to me. The hormones have me subdued.

The truth is that going out on a spree with these two strangers pushed by the always cheerful spirit of Jeanette is making me feel great. The truth is that I would have another Gin & Tonic.

"Is this an anal probe?" Asks the mysterious inner essence waiter as he holds it with his left hand.

I agree.

"Jesus Christ! Don't screw me" he drops it in disgust. "I want to go back to Madrid now. NOW! You're not going to shove this up my ass. OMG. I thought that people who wrote books and appeared in abduction documentaries talking about anal probes were lacking affection..."

"Quiet! Today the thing is not about probes my friend, we are going to drink wine on the Moon! Come on!"

"Sure, and you get us drunk... I know the story. I'm way too drunk to understand anything that's going on here."

"I promise... it's not a probe."

Jeanette reassures him by showing him what it really is. She brings the probe to her lips and sips. By sipping it she is looking for a gravitational response from some nearby object. The first call of love comes from My Trash Planet... then the Moon try seduces us.

"So that I understand it well" the woman with very red lips says without yet being able to fully assimilate that she is on board of RA, a space vehicle hidden under the antennas of Navacerrada, which was once buried near the Pyramids of Egypt and Machupichu. "You are the oldest thing in this universe, that deceiving light, has traveled to the other end of the past, until the beginning of time to create life?"

I yawn. 

Jeanette cries with excitement when she sees me completely out of the closet.

"Hold your horses..." the waiter intervenes now "if you had not created life on Earth, you really should not even exist. WTF, it's like in The Terminator!

It drives me crazy when they call My Trash Planet Earth, the moon still has a pass... at the end it is just a huge rock.

"This is My Trash Planet, not Earth. It's a disaster ... a real disaster. I apologize in Japanese more than twenty times a day..."

"A disaster? It is a beautiful planet!"

"It's a disaster because of you. You are ruining it as if you were a disease. You are the fucking problem, you have no mercy at all" I say pissed off.

Without realizing it, we are orbiting the Moon hunted by its gravitational love. We land in the vineyard quite roughly. We look outside and see that Jeanette has everything full of pumpkins with creepy smiling faces. I had forgotten this woman's passion for Halloween, and I also remember why these louts never wanted to come back to the Moon.



And I tell her: You are such a WITCH.